I don’t know how to write about my best decision is my life. I don’t know if I’ve even made one. So far, I haven’t accomplished anything on my bucket list. I sometimes think that I have given myself far too many things to try and accomplish in my life. I also know that in times today, getting out of bed for some can be hard. I do make myself do throw off the covers, mostly just to use the bathroom, and also to silence my cat. My fuzzy fat one wanders around, crying away at the crack of dawn, like he’s starving. I only live with my two cats, C-Lo and Luda. So I do not feel odd if I am out of bed with no pants on. This can be a benefit of living alone. Why, I still do not know. ‘Tis, relaxing at times.
I realized the other day that I have lived on my own for over a year, and still have yet to find work. These times are hard but I shall not stop hunting. But, as I am out doing my searches, I will enjoy my days in my new home. I will continue to grow up, yet I do not have any idea how. I am learning that my drill has two different bit pieces for it; one that actually DRILLS a hole and another that helps to SCREW a screw into the hole. I do not recall how many times I needed to use my drill before I remembered which bit was which bit.
I love my parents. I felt, though, that I am not their little girl anymore. Watching the world turn and continue to grow around me, I thought that I wasn’t growing up fast enough. I could see that every person around me was finding their own path to wander down, yet I seemed to be stuck not knowing where to go. I knew that I was an adult, I had no rules to obey, yet I still felt like I could not do whatever I wanted. I still felt like I had to ask permission to be out past my “bed time.”
But what decisions to even make, I still do not know at times. I have about given up on looking for both a career and romance. Both of these roads seem to have blocks on all of their paths. I hear through the trees on these roads to, “Never give up, never surrender.” But, I am exhausted from the hours, the excitements from any replies I have received and then the heart ache from seeing that it is just another letdown.
Maybe this is what creating a list for you is for? A simple one or one that I should put together, then set forth to accomplish what I have given myself? Not working, giving up on looking for that, I should set forth on the rest of my life. I know what I have given myself to do is not something that the poorest can afford. This is also a lesson I need to learn, though: how to save.
My Bucket List as of August 21, 2013
1. Visit all 50 States
2. Go to Scotland
3. Write Short Stories
4. Visit Alaska
5. Drive Route 66 (alone or with family)
6. Visit San Diego Zoo
7. See Yellow Stone
8. Begin Stained Glass Business
So I guess I have accomplished one thing on my list. Who knows when the rest will be done? I still have a long life ahead of me, though. I can feel it.