I know that I talk about this all the time. It’s probably nothing even. I always, always think that this time you’re the chosen one. Then, after I get the disappointing let down that I have heard what feels like everyday over these past twenty years, I just try to shove it deep inside my stomach and continue on with my lonely life. Well, it’s not that lonely. I have people that I run to when I need those arms wrapped around me after the rejection that I should just be used to. Or if I need a persons ears to have my life complained about over the beer that will help drown away the sorrows.
I normally have no problem telling a person how I feel. I am just so used to getting the same response that this has almost become a habit. I prepare myself, take my deep breathe, let out my emotions about how I feel, then just walk away, knowing that they don’t feel the same way without even having to hear or read a response.
I can hit on a random guy at a bar. I have no problem talking coyly to a cashier at any store. But when I see you standing there, with blue eyes and your blonde hair (yes I’m a thinking of Blink-182) I feel that I have lost my powers. I feel that I am not able to have the look in my eyes that I will give to who I have this bubbling about; the little bubbles that start to boil in my stomach when I see a person that I think was written in the stars for me. (Of course, how many people were written up there for each of us? I feel like I’ve tried for all of them already!)
So, I try to avoid you. I don’t want my emotions for you to be know. That will make this world a better place. You can continue on with your busy day, never knowing that this one woman has these feelings, these “Who is this funny, handsome young man?” senses dwindling around in her head daily as she stalks through your Facebook (but not everyday). How would you know if you had let “the” one get away from you if you hadn’t taken that one chance you had to just sit and talk with her? We all have our busy days, some more than others, but it only takes a mere five minutes for your insides to know that the person that you have set your eyes upon is the one that you are meant to be with for the rest of your life. I know that I have probably let a few of them pass me by, but you’ll never know unless you look into her eyes and let her set foot onto your land.