My Normal Life

Why Does Everything Revolve Around Me?

Somebody once told me the world is gonna role me, because I can’t get enough of you baby.  But, stop the track, lemme state facts.  One night I was up in the club, we had just broke up.  Why we were even there, I still don’t know.  We grew up in the suburbs, we’re the type who got guitars for Christmas.  But, lately, I just feel so small.  I didn’t want to breakup.  It was ugly, we had made it this far.  Four years, you think for sure.  But it was just the night I had been out to watch our band playing, “This song goes out to my good friends, : you had began.  Then you start to sing about how she used to be the happiest girl, “I knew.”  Is it okay if I speak with you today about this?  I had even talked to her about all this before.  She didn’t mean to deceive me, believe me.  And after all that her and I had discussed about you, I was in the car, I just can’t wait, to break your heart, like you broke mine.

I never thought I’d die alone.  I love you more than I did the week before.  You can’t just make me think that I’m having a bad day.  I know after all that you’ve made me put up with, you don’t deserve another night at the palace we had finally been able to put together.

I always remember how we met.  The first day of our senior year, I had found my locker and I found my classes.  Then at lunch, I found you.  And I never let go.  You always told your parents how, “She was the perfect woman, every single way.  She got me with her looks, she got me with her stare.”  And now, I never thought of us as such a big man, such a little chick.  You won’t be making me shine on the one that’s gone and left me blue.  You won’t leave me blue.  I don’t know dude, I think everybody’s all jealous.  Jealous that you let your hot girlfriend leave you, and treat you like the dirt that you are.

When I awoke the next day, though, I rolled over, thinking about the first time that I saw your eyes.  I saw nothing.  I woke up to the sound of silence.  The sun was shining through my windows and I wished that it was just raining.  I shouldn’t have been so quick to walk away from you.

It didn’t help that on my way to work, I know a place that seems just like yesterday I was passing and made me think of you.  I only left you because I run from a pessimist, but I guess I ran too late.  You make me think of all the bridges that I’ve burned along the way in life.  You were making it seem like I was walking in the wrong direction that I’ve had a little bit too much.  You know, my sugar baby, this is no longer a pop show.

I was a beauty queen of only eighteen when I was you.  It was love at first site, in my young mind.  But now, here I am waiting, I will have to leave soon.  I know you’re thinking that I’ll pull back the shield between us and I’ll kiss you.

There were days it seemed like you were as cold as the blood that runs through your bones.  I had my days where I know you would see my pain that I was washing out in the rain.  But you just let me continue to darken the door, even though I know that time has numbered my days.

This break-up still makes me wonder, “is this real life?”  Are you going to take me home tonight? Everybody does need it, everybody wants it.  Love.  I’m trying to give it up, give it up slowly.

I sometimes feel that I’ve dug up miles and miles of sand for yo.  I’m just trying to make myself think that we’re going somewhere.  That we’re going off somewhere the musics paying soft and low.

This morning at 6am, my clock was ringing, and I still can’t figure out why.  I had been hoping I had learned how to set it to you singing about how you like big butts and you never lie.  I loved that clock.  When you had bought it for me, it made me believe we’re do it all: life, love, everything. 

This night, though, I look and stare deep into your eyes, feeling the war inside me.  I know you’re always thinking when I have a certain look, “She might just be out of her mind.”  This time, it’s not just about the latest fashion.

Even though it’s three in the morning and I gotta be someplace, I have to do this now.  I’d like to tell you all about my dream of life, which you are no longer a part of.  Because, even if twenty four hours ago, I wanted to be sedated, I will never want to be sedated with you.


Tell me you love me

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