I realized that I tried to be normal once. That was the worst ten minutes of my life. But I am going to keep trying. Getting denied just makes me want to try it more. I am sorry that I couldn’t get it through to you. I would have followed you anywhere. When I think of you, I often think of trees that are green and those red roses that are spread around them in a very glorious type circle, too. I will always sit there and bloom when I’m thinking about me and you. The rest of this world doesn’t matter to me now. I know there have been times that I’ve given up all I had just to breathe the same air as you. I know everyone thinks I’m crazy for thinking that when you see me, you’re going to still be in love with me, but I know it’s true. I just can’t help feeling sad that there are some mornings out on the road without you.
So just realize this, you’re going to regret not dating me in high school. All of you are. I know I’ve already kissed heaven goodbye because it’s a sin to look this good. I just cannot help it. I try. I know that home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it, which I do! I walk around without my pants, wearing the same t-shirt that I don’t remember the last time I washed. Wearing it right now, you’re welcome Ms. Handler. Those are the best times to have.
As I continue to sit here, thinking that I’m growing old, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. However, pissing everyone off is something I now know I am very good at. I accept this Medal of Honor. You are all welcome. I guess it’s just those awkward moments when I can start telling a story and realize no one’s listening. This would just make me speak louder! Even though, I know I’m not quiet on any regular day, well, any day. It’s beginning to make me think that life is too short to be serious all the time.
I have been told by a wise man that if I am going through Hell, that I’m supposed to keep going. This time of year, though, I’m not sure how the weather would be. I have heard that I am a dreamer when it comes to all of this crap. I know I’m not the only one. When I’m thinking of you, my stomach starts to hurt. The churning begins, causing what I usually assume is just cramps. Or maybe just a reason I’m in and out of the bathroom. Then I realize that I had been perusing your Facebook all day, so the mystery has been solved. Except for why I am so fascinated by you.
All of the above is like all of the awkward moments I’ve had in life trying to get over anyone I was never dating. I’m reminded of everyone around me seeming to get into a relationship and you know what I’m getting? Food. Though, this one time, I did send a message to a guy that I had had the “First Date” with but, he didn’t text me back. I know that he was that excited that I had texted him, that he must have passed out. This was the only reason I was sending him more messages, just to make sure he was okay.
I know there will be that knock on my door one day, and not just from the mail man. It will be him! He will have found me, the one that he knew he had been put on this Earth to find. Yet, I’m sure he knows what he’s searching for, if a nice description of me is given on his list, because if he does, then he knows he’s late. So I ask you, future, brown haired, 5’10’’+, history buff type guy; hurry your ass up. My weekend has been spent knitting while watching Lifetime movies, which means the gateway to forty is opening too fast for me. So come one; what are you waiting for?