I got the sense that I should leave you alone, but we both know that I’m not that strong. I was praying that you and me might end up together. Forever. I know that life is not always filled with rainbows and butterflies. It’s really a compromise that moves us along. I had thought that one day, I would be walking down my lonely road and then at last my love has come along. My lonely days would be over. I belong with you, you belong with me. You’re my sweetheart. You can be my glass of whiskey that I feel I need a shot of everyday, I’ll be your shot of rum.
Just because we don’t talk for two hours every day, doesn’t mean I don’t think about you all the time. For how empty my head feels most of the day, anything that wanders aimlessly throughout it is a very lucky thing. Don’t worry too much about how much I think of you. Don’t be held down by what you can’t control. I can’t help that my heart seems to swing back and forth between the need for a routine and the urge to run, though. Perhaps it’s that we live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than the police. Society today chooses what is more important. Maybe we do both need to live and let go. There is always a person who wants to see you fail just so they can pick you up to mend your heart.
How does a person look at someone they love and tell themselves to walk away? One of the hardest things to do in life is letting go of what you thought was real. Every time I say “I’m done” I find myself wanting to try again. I miss you. I can’t call you because it would only hurt me. I need to forget all of the reasons why I think we won’t work and believe the one reason why we will. I need to believe the one reason why, which I still have yet to figure out.