8:38 am on a Thursday morning. South bound I-75 is backed up from the down town Detroit direction, all the way up to the I-696 interchange. The birds are out having their loud, cheerful sounding conversation. My sister has already been serving coffee since the brighter hours of 6am, when all of the regulars are beginning their standard work days. Yet, here I sit on my living room floor watching Strawberry Shortcake as 9am approaches.
The main piece of the puzzle missing in my life, that I will for sure find one of these days is a job. This is a big change that I need. It’s more of a fix than a change, though. A major fix. It is one thing that I have been needing for what feels like my entire life. I’ve lost count of the interviews I have had from the over 500 attempts for one. Your couch is only comfortable for so long. After three years, I’m sure none of you would even want to own one or a television anymore. This what makes me now feel like an addict to 7-11. But, after all of these tries and no rewards, I almost do not even want to press on anymore.
The tiniest irritations that seem to be happening with me on what looks like everyday makes me feel that I’m going down the aggravating path in life. Every day, it appears there is always one thing that can push my buttons and make me want to explode, screaming as loud as possible into my pillows. I try to deter from them all of the time, but I’m always pulled into something, somehow. I have a person accidently cut in front of me in line, so I begin to cuss every word I know to them in my head as my eyes and eyebrows are now glaring every piece of irritation in my body at the back of their head. The same always happens if a person were to not show me the standard polite hand gestured thank you when driving down the road, after I had politely let them over into my lane. If I was to let you over; please remember your manners.
But, this piece of my life I will work to mend. I do need to work hard and control how too easily upset I get over the tiniest things. I believe if I was just able to take a deep breath, close my eyes and count to five, I could just continue on with what I was doing, focus on the many more important goings on.
I keep saying this, but I would for sure change the road in life that I feel I am stuck on. I want to change this single and living with my parent’s portion of it. I want to be married with my children. I feel like I have been working hard on that portion. I know, I know; you don’t need to look, he will find you, blah blah, bs, bs is all that I hear. It’s not that easy for me as it seemed to be for some of you, the happily married with three children ones. I have had my nose to the ground, my eyes open and searching yet I have obviously come up with no person. So I have given up on my search. I just sit and wait for my Romeo to come find me.
I would change so much more, I feel I am almost at my half-way point in life and I have accomplished nothing. Maybe the car I’m in on this road in life just has a flat tire, and I have yet to get out and change it.