My Normal Life

Pulling Up My Pants

I’ve read, that a Pisces takes a long time to get over people. It’s one of their biggest flaws. I may not be perfect, but there are parts of me that are pretty awesome. I know that I will never be truly happy if I continuously hold onto the things that make me sad, so I need to let them go. I need to realize that the pity train has just derailed at the corner of Suck It Up and it might have crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a stop at Get the Hell Over Him. I sometimes find it ironic that when I needed him, he wasn’t there. But when I finally started to pull up my pants and move on, he seemed to come crawling back. This made me really want to write “I miss you” on a rock and then throw it at his face just so he can know how much it hurts to miss him. I even wish you could realize that you are the dullest, emptiest, vessel of a human being I have ever encountered. You are, honestly, the weirdest person I know. And that’s why, I for some reason feel that we are meant for each other. At some point I need to realize that certain people can stay in my heart but not in my life. Maybe everything does happen for a reason. Perhaps the reason is just that I am stupid and make bad decisions. I know that life is too short to stress myself with people who don’t even deserve to be an issue in my life. I don’t care if the world is composed of billions of people. I want him, end of story. Even if this means that I plan on bugging him every single day. Sometimes the best way to get this persons attention is to stop giving them yours. I don’t know the way down this path in life, but I’ll be there soon. You are my favorite pain in the ass, after all. There are times when I hate you, and then I love you. It’s like I want to throw you off of a cliff and then rush to the bottom, as fast as I can, just to catch you. You do need to just admit it; your life would totally suck without me. If I have to force this, I just need to leave it all alone. Relationships, friendships, ponytails…I just need to leave them all alone. One day I will solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, I know that alcohol will solve them all. I know that a person who truly loves me, will see what a mess I can be, how moody I can get and how hard I can be to handle, but they will still want me. I need to stop looking for my happiness in the same place that I lost it. Yes, I am smiling but you are not that reason anymore. I need to be with those who will bring out the best in me, not the stress in me. And it’s okay to walk out of someone’s life if I don’t feel like I belong in it anymore.

dear cupid

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