Looking around my bedroom, I am beginning to see something that I don’t feel is belonging to me anymore; my life. I am feeling there is a giant magnet somehow pulling me back to my younger years. Not that I’m old, but I am, lately, not able to make my own decisions without being required to clear everything with the warden. If my plans are to be out for the evening, I must have minute by minute details of where I will be. I am beginning to feel as if I broke a curfew when I come in at the wretched hours of three am. I must sneak past my parents open bedroom door. How do I know if they’re really sleeping?
I am an adult. I am a grown up. So why do I sometimes not feel like one? Too much love can be over bearing, at times. When it is shoved in a person’s face, it can, occasionally, just be thrown into the fire pit just to be burned up into little pieces that cannot be reused, ever again. I appreciate all that is given to me, but how am I supposed to say that every so often there’s too much, when tomorrow I’ll probably need help screwing in a light bulb?
I love all of the advice that is given to me. But too much, too often can just remind me about all of the mistakes that I have been making. Sometimes, it can be best to make those mistakes, as hard as it will be for you to see. Or for you to hear me gripe about. This can make a much more lasting impression on my life. These mistakes can help to show me which road I need to make a U-turn on.
I love all of the support I have been given in my life, for all the good and the stupid I have done. I have even read that when it comes to money, it can be alright to voice your concerns about where and how your child takes care of their finances. I know I have not been very good with mine lately. There is even, sometimes, good reasons to set essentials for spending. But, after telling me about any of your concerns and perhaps even setting any ground rules, it might be good to add, “The final decision is yours and I will emotionally support whatever you decide.” I love you. Don’t push me away.