My Normal Life

45 Minutes of Love

Right now; I am a little confused. One day, now and then, you make it seem like we are walking down the right path in life together. We are destined to be together for the rest of our lives. One day soon, we will be man and wife. Maybe soon our little cutie will be crawling along the floor, since one seems crammed into my face every day (thank you Facebook.) We talk about baby names, we talk about where we might be married. I know that’s still a long way down our road, but you calmly talk about it. We even just bought a car together, for the both of us, so I know that you know I am not going anywhere.

A few days later, though, you start spouting off for 45-minutes, word after word, how we were over charged by $4 for a beverage at a normal bar. Or I have to listen to you while we’re eating our usual lunch about how too much our sandwich cost. Another might be, when you walk in from work and I can’t seem to speak a single word to you without setting off your angry switch. You even begin to drone on and on about how you still owe so much back where we moved from, and I listen to you murmur on about it, yet I can’t get a word of any suggestions to you. I really only want you calm down, take a deep breathe even just to shut up. Yet I can’t. So I just sit and stare at nothing as I listen to you yelling at our future.

Baby; nothing in the United States cost 25-cents anymore. I do know that our money is not easy at this time. But, when you need help with money; come to me. You sometimes don’t seem to comprehend that I can help. This is my apartment, too. My name may not be on the lease, yet I help pay for everything. Except the rent, as you just rammed into my face 30 minutes ago, for the 18th time, I can pay for our lunch, groceries, anything for our car.  Yet, I am beginning to feel; useless. My name may not be on the lease, but that does not mean I will not pay to sleep in our bed.

I know that I can’t remember what happened ten minutes ago; yet when you feel the need to repeat the same majorly important item in our lives to me, you need to not raise your voice when speaking it to me. Or perhaps, do not speak it to me like I am not quite as bright as you, as you most of the time make me feel. I know that I raise my voice to you a lot. I yell at you for no reason, I don’t know why. Yet, ten minutes later I try to hug that away. We’re adults. We’re living under the same roof. I can’t escape to my parents for a few hours, since they’re 3000 miles away. It even seems, since we just purchased a car together, I can’t seem to get behind the wheels without you getting upset that have the time to drive it more than you do.

A wise woman once said to fuck this shit, then she lived happily ever after. The words I need to live by. I know that I can be a very demanding. As difficult as I can be, I do wish that everything worked out in my way. I guess I think this would make us both happy together. Last night, we seemed to be on top of the town, kissing like we invented it. You’re my soul, in my heart. I feel that you’ll be my last breath when I grow old.  Ever since we’ve been together, I feel that I’ve been stronger and free. I feel that I belong with you and you belong with me. You make me smile and just the thought of you can drive me wild. You have made my life complete and I love you.

I hope you know I am what would look good on you, every Friday night. If we continued down our road in life, the best thing you need to know is that love is being stupid together. And we’re good at that. When you try your best, when you get what you want, and when you feel so tired and I get what you need, you know that you succeeded. All that you are is all that I will ever need.

 

poetry is hard

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